Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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