If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
