I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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