my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
