Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
