The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
North Korea, Best Korea!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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