i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
