dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
