D3 body, D1 cock
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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