Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
