Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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