we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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