I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
