I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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