I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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