Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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