Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
