Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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