so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
