Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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