i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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