At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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