butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
