You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
