airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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