You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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