it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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