Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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