Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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