We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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