Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
