im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
