she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
