there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
