So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
