wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
