Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
