I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
