normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
