At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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