Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
