Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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