All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
