It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
