Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
