He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
