dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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