Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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