So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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