Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
