Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize