I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
