just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
