they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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