i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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