you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
