i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
