3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
